Shite the first

Every now and then I stop and for a few moments I watch as the whirlwind continues on around me. Detached, in the calm eye of the storm, I watch as it continues to rage. 

What am I looking for? 

A space in the scene that cannot be filled by anyone but me perhaps? 

A sign that if I were to step out of the dance, if I were gone from the play, the space I had occupied wouldn't just gradually disappear as the other participants adjusted their places.

Or worse, that my place wouldn't simply be filled by someone waiting in the wings.

Is that it really?

Am I watching to see if they really need me in their lives?

Or am I really just watching, wondering if I really want to be a part of the whirlwind anymore?